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Entries organized under True Purpose

Following the thread to fulfilment

In True Living, True Purpose, True Self, True Work on April 3, 2017

“Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks–we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.” Parker J Palmer

Life is a precious gift. Yet I, maybe you, forget it too often.

Sucked into the busyness, the pressures, roles and expectations bestowed upon us or chosen by us, we loose our thread, our sense of meaning, ourselves.

Yet all of us, however busy we are, press pause at points along the way. Maybe it’s a holiday, a journey or an illness, enforced or chosen, these times create space and help us to see and feel with a clarity we rarely experience.

In these moments we remember who we really are, what we believe deep inside and what really matters. We realise what needs to change and how much we crave it.

Sometimes all it takes is a moment, or a series of moments sprinkled over time, to change course and steer our life deliberately. To make that change and feel we’re living our life our way. To contribute in our own unique way to this world. And isn’t that true fulfilment?

I know, all too well it would seem, when I haven’t found the pause button often enough.

I feel myself drifting further and further away from being deliberate to being on auto-pilot. I feel totally set adrift from the thread I’ve been following and find myself filling my time with mindless activity to ease the emptiness.

What I’ve learnt, time and again, is that it doesn’t take much to reconnect with your thread, with yourself.

It doesn’t need to be a 10 day holiday or a year long training course.

What it takes is space and a dedication to you. Start with a cup of tea, a minute sat in the sun or a walk in the woods. Start.

Find yourself and your thread and follow it with all you’ve got.

“If something burns your soul with purpose and desire, it’s your purpose to be reduced to ashes by it. Any other form of existence will be yet another dull book in the library of life” Charles Bukowski

 

 

 

 

My biggest fear

In True Living, True Purpose on September 30, 2015

I have a fear. It’s a big one for me, maybe even my biggest. I would love to know if you feel it too?

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My big fear is of dying filled with the precious glimmers of wisdom and unique ‘me-and-only-me ness’ resting deep inside, never to have seen the light of day.

Of being left on my death bed feeling that I never said it. Knowing that I never had the courage to let it come to the surface.

Having to accept that I never let my uniqueness take its place in this world and acknowledge that the precious box inside of me, filled with gifts to be shared with all, was left without being seen by anyone.

I believe we all have gifts and wisdom within us that the world so desperately needs to hear. We all have a worthy and precious contribution to make in this world, each looking very different but all making a difference.

It is my fear that I won’t take my place fully, that I won’t make the difference that only I can. That I won’t play my unique part in the world and its journey onward. That I won’t leave the legacy that I know lies within me for future generations to be custodians of and to use to travel onwards feeling that little bit more equipped.

It is this fear that fuels me, moves me and guides me every single day. It excites me in a butterflies in my stomach kind of way. I want to grasp this opportunity with every little ounce of me and let it come out, share it and make it truly count.

I want this for me and maybe you want this too?

I want us all to die feeling worthwhile, empty, that we mattered and truly made a difference.

I am on a life-defining journey to finding a way to capture the wisdom that lies within myself and others and share it far and wide. I’m on a mission to preserving these bundles of wisdom and finding a way of delivering them to benefit many more to come.

My fear fuels me forward on this mission. There is so much creativity within me bursting to come out, so much courage to be found and bold action to be taken.

If you feel the fear, I would love you to get in touch. I would love to hear your wisdom and help you to share it. Let’s journey together.

Are we destined for a hard life?

In True Living, True Purpose on August 5, 2015

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As I was growing up, lots of people told me that when you find your passion, your purpose, your place in this world, it all becomes effortless.

I loved this thought. It made sense and was highly appealing yet felt so frustratingly out of my reach. It felt like a secret society that only a chosen few would get to be part of. I feared these people were the lucky ones, whereas for me life would always be hard work.

Hard work had been instilled in me from such a young age by my most wonderfully achievement oriented parents. So why would I think I would be one of these lucky ones?

Deep down I’m an idealist. A fact that I believe has served me well over the years. It means I dream, I believe and I never give up.

The idealistic part of me never gave up on the goal of effortlessness, this was what I was aiming for and I wouldn’t give up until I found it.

It was this that kept me going when things felt so hard. When I felt like a round peg in a square hole. When I felt so very confused and exhausted.

It was this that drove me to go deeper and deeper within myself to find out who I really was. I peeled myself back layer after layer and closely examined it trying to work out if that piece was the real me, something I thought I had to be or what someone else had told me.

So many layers fall upon us from our family, education, culture, media, relationships, spiritual beliefs and more.

These layers impact us yet they don’t define the real person underneath. We go deeper than that. We are the core upon which all of these layers have built up. Yet, the core will always be there. The opportunity always exists to uncover it.

My trigger for digging through the deepest of layers was collapsing with chronic fatigue. A gift wrapped in a very scary wrapping paper which I had no desire at all to open. Yet hidden inside lay the opportunity of time, space, reflection, truth, tears and ultimately the real me. It is one of the best gifts of my life (alongside my husband and son) and a huge teacher and guide.

So when I started to find the most real me, I started to do the things that I wanted to do. That gave me energy. That brought me to life every day. I found there was no longer a separation between work and life and the real me meandered effortlessly between the two. I found that when I stopped ‘trying’, the magic happened, I felt filled with immense energy and joy and it was truly effortless.

I no longer believe that our work in the world needs to be hard. In fact I believe the opposite. No longer as an idealist but as a realist. When we commit ourselves to finding our true self inside and using that to guide us, the rest is effortless.

This is not to be confused with the fact that life is unpredictable, there are challenges which come our way and they can absolutely be hard, but when we keep true to ourselves we can navigate them and can learn so much more about ourselves. For me, this is the biggest and most rewarding journey of our life.

What size is meaning?

In True Living, True Purpose, True Self on July 29, 2015

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I believe we all yearn for a sense of meaning in our lives. A reason for being here in the world living our life. A central tenet that makes our life make sense. A desire for our impact to be witnessed and to have meant something to others.

Some have a deep and ever present awareness of this meaning and it acts as a cornerstone of their life. Whilst for others it’s more of a reflection point considered from time to time to look back on the past and plan the future.

Whatever role meaning plays in our life, it can feel like there’s a wave of pressure for it to be ‘big’, ‘to change the world forever’ and ‘to impact many’.

This is rooted in beautiful intentions but does it always bring out the best in us and is it helpful for us all?

How often do we hear people saying ‘dream small but so utterly satisfyingly’, or ‘change one person for life’ or ‘impact less people but more deeply’?

We often forget that having a ‘bigger stage’ in life doesn’t make our impact more profound or our talents more special or valued. The journey of going big, if it is not right for us, can leave us drained, make it easier to lose sight of what we are working for and make our light in this world shine dimmer.

Even if we do make it to the much talked about status of ‘global impact’, can we really say it’s less worthy or impactful than truly connecting with one person and changing their life forever? I think not.

I believe finding our size of stage and performing on it in a way that truly means something to our inner home at a soul level is what counts.

I also believe that in some seasons of our life, our stage may be bigger than others and that we get to define it and guide it in a way that makes sense for us each day.

I don’t want a life filled with a hum drum existence that feels mundane, rudderless and irrelevant. Yet I don’t want to feel overwhelmed with a staggeringly big and all consuming meaning that could change the world but will undoubtedly consume me and take up my every thought.

I want to feel on purpose, to feel meaning and for it to guide me and fuel me yet feel at peace in my mind and able to dictate the pace. I want to work hard punctuated by rest, connection, being and joy.

I’ve often felt the pressure to go big, but recognize that I actually feel truest to myself when I’m working one on one with people. For me this takes the form of deeply life changing coaching, nurturing solo retreats or writing in a way that feels like an intimate conversation with one person, you.

I know there are so many incredible people out there that feel the pressure to impact more people. That often feel forced to look left and right to what others are are doing to make sure that they too are doing it. I fear it’s exhausting and starves the world of their uniqueness as well as themselves of true meaning.

I believe there is enough space for us all to be ourselves on the right size of stage for who we truly are. No stage better than the other, all beautifully unique and needed in this world.

How can we compare the life of one person with another and judge if their life has been well lived, made a difference or been meaningful based on its size?

I guess the thing is we can’t. Only they can. Each one of us gets to define meaning for ourselves if we consciously choose to.