We’re always trying to change something.
Maybe it’s getting more done, growing in confidence as a leader or parent, pursuing a new idea, getting home for story time or whatever else feels most pressing in our work and life.
To create change in ourselves or others, it seems logical that behaviour has to change and that it requies a whole lot of effort, discipline and willpower.
Apply Effort & Discipline to change behaviour -> Changed behaviour -> Changed Output
Sounds pretty accurate, but have you considered that it might only be part of the story?
When we try to generate change by addressing behaviours, we fail to get to the root cause. By attempting to impact the output downstream, rather than at its source, our best result is short term change not the long term change we’re aiming for.
When we put a lot of effort, energy and focus into the new behaviour our mind gets busy and we can feel the strain. Sure, we might see some improvements, but rarely are they long lasting and frequently our will power tails off and we feel defeated.
Ever found yourself starting a new diet and, after an initial success, found yourself giving up in frustration? Ever tried to implement a new process and found yourself succeeding for a short while and then, when your willpower falls away, the process is dropped and quickly forgotten?
This type of change proves itself time and again to be unsustainable even though, intellectually, we know it’s what we should do. So what does it take to make lasting change?
The real source of all behaviour lies upstream in the understanding and beliefs we hold.
When we’re tinkering with the behaviours downstream we fail to see that all behaviour is a reflection of our level of understanding. And when I say understanding, I don’t mean our intellectual understanding or knowledge, but a deeper insightful understanding that is available to us in a freer mind.
When insightfully our understanding shifts in a certain area, our behaviour automatically shifts without the need for tools, techniques or exhausting effort. We simply know and find ourselves behaving in a new way because it makes sense to do so.
Insightful understanding -> Changed Behaviour -> Changed Output
When our understanding tells us that things seem a particular way, we act in whatever way makes sense based on that understanding.
When it makes sense to us to work longer hours to increase productivity, that’s what we do.
When it seems productive to us to worry and think non-stop about our business, that’s what we do.
When it looks like our team are dysfunctional, well, surprise surprise, our behaviour reflects that.
We can adopt a tool, technique or strategy to change our behaviour but fundamentally they won’t create sustainable change. Unless we see something insightfully that fundamentally shifts our understanding we will be back raising our hands in frustration pretty soon.
Our behaviour is visible, so of course we go to what we can see first. But what if we didn’t?
What if we got curious and, before jumping into the exhausting hustle to change our behaviour, we travelled upstream to the source of our behaviour and opened the door to insight so we can make change that really sticks?
Learning about how to make your understanding visible is a rewarding journey and if you’re interested in finding out more check out coaching programs, workshops and immersions or drop me a line.